Broken Stream
by Ravenman9898
Summary: Deja Vu happens to most of us, but what happens when it's actually a sign of lost memories? Of a possiblity that the life your living, isn't your own.
1. Introductions

Broken Stream

The ringing of the alarm clock, the chirp of birds in the trees outside, and the constant thumping of the bass from the upstairs neighbor. This is what I have to deal with every morning, for the past 2 years. My hand went down on the snooze button of the infernal clock and I slowly sat up on my bed. If one person was to ask me, Shinji, why are you living in a dank apartment in the middle of Tokyo 3 with furniture from a Salvation Army, and a interior design of a morgue? I would probably have to tell them to shut up, then proceed to throw myself off the mountains north of here. Its not that I hate my life, no, I'm far from depressed. I call it disappointment. For some reason I can't seem to be happy, more or less it seems that I've been experiencing deja vu everywhere. Man, look at me babble, I completely forgot to introduce myself.

My name is Shinji Ikari, I am a 21 year old young adult with too much on his mind and too little to show for it. For as long as I remember I have been living in the middle of Tokyo 3, in one of those apartment complexes. My meaning in "those" is that it was built after the last disaster that happened here. An earthquake hit the city with such force that it completely demolished everything in the side that I'm living at. Funny thing is, I don't remember it. Not alot of people do. It's in the history book, along with apparently several different disasters that happened. I never questioned it, even though its in my mind a lot. As far as my employment, I work for some new age company called NERV. I'm a tech designer for some secret project. A project that was deemed classified, and from what it looks like, I'm working on a giant arm of a thing. It's weird but again I don't question it, I remember I worked there the whole time. Believe me when I say it sucks.

I slowly threw my legs off the bed and stand up. Scratching the back of my head and stifling a yawn I walked toward my small bathroom. Look in the mirror like I do every morning and see myself. I don't like myself, more so what I've become. I always thought I was destined for great things, instead I'm a tech-bitch in some stupid company. Turning the facet on, I pick up the toothbrush and put a healthy amount of paste on it. I start working on my teeth while looking at myself. Spiting and rinsing, I trudge into the kitchen. I never drink coffee in the morning, I always make breakfast though. I'm the only person that lives here but I make enough for 3 people. Its not even traditional Japanese, some of it looks European. Every time I shop I just subconsciously by different verity of foods and bring it back. Funny thing is, for three years now, I have been setting an extra plate next to me. I put the European food on that plate and the Japanese on mine. Now any normal person would see something wrong with this. I don't. Its almost like a reflex. A uncontrolled reflex, like a heartbeat. I just don't have any control over it. Usually I eat both dishes, because I know whoever I'm waiting for isn't going to show up.

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I run out of the apartment, I don't bother locking it. Theres nothing of value in there anyway, aside from the bed. Flying down the stairs like I always do, greeting whoever is in my way. An elderly lady smiles as I run down waving my goodbye to her. I exit the building and jump off the stoop into the sidewalk. I proceed to casually walk down the street to the same train station I've been going to get to work. I walk up the stairs to the main platform and wait there for the next train to come flying through.

"Hey, when is the next train coming in?"

My head turns toward the red headed woman talking to one of the workers. There is it again, I envision different scenes in my head. Her face, her screaming, her agony, her lying naked beside me, and her smile. I shake my head and look down at the tracks. I have a problem, I have an overactive imagination. I seem to envision people in different lives. I passed it as insanity, I actually went to a shrink about it. The NERV shrink, Ritsuko Akagi, told me that I am repressing my life and how apparently bad it is with made up illusion in my head to counteract the distress I feel from day to day. At least thats what I got from it when I told her that I had dreams of giant robots and monsters that looked like rejected designs of hentai characters. She would just smile and prescribed me a medicine that'll elevate my mood. Like hell, I took it. I knew I wasn't insane, I knew I was a bit off but I knew I wasn't insane. I dealt with my imagination on my own accord. Like for instance the red head that was talking to the worker walked and stood right beside me. My imagination was going but I learned to ignore it.

"It's my first time here".

I turned to her, she was shorter then me so I had to look down on her. For some reason I kind of figured she didn't like to be looked down on.

"Welcome to Tokyo 3, a place a level above hell" I said apathetically, I was surprised when she giggled.

"You work for NERV don't know?"

I looked at her suspiciously as she lifted her hand and pointed at my NERV name tag. I let out a laugh and rubbed the back of my head.

"I'm sorry, its way to early for me".

"I know the feeling. I just started working there today" she turned slightly sideways to show her name tag, which was conveniently pinned on her chest. The guy in me, looked at the name tag and the ample breasts at the same time. Sadly, I think she caught on to what I was doing.

"So... Asuka? Where are you working at?" I tried to avoid the sideway glance she was giving me.

"NERV... like I said, what are you an idiot?"

Those words triggered more images, more images of her, yelling at me, kissing me, hugging me, and the last one crying over me. I shook my head and pointed an annoyed look at her.

"I meant to say which department?"

She let out a grin and turned toward the tracks. "I'm working in the tech department".

"Well, looks like I'm not going to be walking into work alone".

She gave me a smile, I don't know if it was relief at the fact she found someone that works in the same department or the fact that she had inconveniently made a friend in the train station that happens to work in the same building and department as herself. Sometimes I laughed at my luck, or lack there off. But right now I have had to be thinking that fate itself, is giving me a break for once in my life.

The train pulled in, and I noticed her hair flying everywhere. I felt her hand grab my sleeve as she pulled me into the doors as they closed behind me.

"Mein Gott, you really aren't a morning person" she said laughing.

I let out a smile as a sat down on one of the benches, she proceeded to take the next one to me.

"So", she started while kicking her feet a little, it reminded me of a child, "what's your name?"

"Shinji. I didn't say it, did I?"

"No, you didn't" we both started laughing.

This was getting weird, I'm right next to a stunning red head goddess and all I can think of was that I knew her from somewhere. But where? And how? What the hell is happening?

"Shinji? Did we meet before?" I looked up at her and the expression on her face was that of confusion.

"I don't know, I can't say we have?" Oh lord, how I wanted to tell her everything that I'm going through right now. To be able to know that someone else is going through the same thing that I am, would be a godsend.

"Oh, jeez. Sorry about that, deja vu kind of thing you know? Hee hee." she laughed nervously and started staring at the floor. Fate 1, Shinji 0.

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We both walked out of the train and onto the platform. She looked lost so I just took her hand and started walking through the groups of drones. She looked a little flustered about it but she didn't say anything. We walked up to the elevator and stood waiting.

"You can let go of my hand" she said with a faint blush on her face as I quickly let go of her hand.

"Sorry..."

Again more images started flooding into my head and when I looked at her she seemed to be going through the same. We both looked at each other but didn't say anything. The ding of the elevator broke our concentration. She walked in first.

"So, are you going to give me a tour of this place?" she said with a smile.

I smiled back as I walked in.

"Sure, why not".

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End Chapter 1: Introductions.

Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion

Expect some OOCness

Kind of a take on this, got the inspiration from Eternal Sunshine in a Spotless Mind.

Will finish the Naruto story when I know where its going


	2. Word

Broken Stream

Chapter 2: Word

Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion.

Warning: Teen rated due to adult themes.

* * *

It didn't take long for the both of us to go through the security protocol. It unnerved me every time, only because one of the female security workers has a habit of asking for a cavity search... every time I go inside the building. It amused Asuka to no end seeing me fluster out responses and glaring at the woman whenever she turned around. We finally made it to our department. I could see Kensuke and Touji arguing over something, Rei Ayanami typing like a bat out of hell in her cubicle. This was the usual, nothing different or strange. Just very strange people. I led Asuka to my desk where I threw my bag underneath my desk.

"So? Is this it?"

"Pretty much, I'll introduce you to everyone and then we'll head to the head manager to get you your workspace and what not."

"Do you always have the same charming personality in the morning?" Sarcasm dully noted.

"Ha. Ha. Ha."

"Shinji!" 

I looked over to see Kensuke walk up and give me a pat on the back. Then Touji followed suit only ogling Asuka when she was looking around.

"Who's the babe?" he whispered to me.

"Intern?" Kensuke looked excited.

"New worker," I responded, "met her on the train, going to show her around."

"Damn you! You get all the luck... Hi how's it going, I'm Touji" He spluttered when he noticed the said girl listening contently to their conversation.

"Uh... hi, I'm Asuka Souryu".

Kensuke offered his hand, "Don't mind him, his wife got in the dog bed so he's alittle pent up if you get my drift. I'm Kensuke Aida"

"Kensuke! You bastard! Stop telling everyone about my love life."

"Or lack of one"

"I'm married, what's your excuse."

"I don't date idiots."

"Or your gay".

Thus a staring contest began with a bewildered Asuka looking on. I put my hand on her shoulder and led her away from them.

"Are they always like that?"

"Yes, unfortunately. It ends up being me that breaks them up or some other employee making a wisecrack about them staring into each other eyes."

She giggled and started to walk side by side with me as we walked to our next destiniation. I noticed her looking up once or twice.

"Something wrong?", it surprises me that I can be so damn dense. I am a guy after all.

"New place, trying to get adjusted. This is so different from the German branch of NERV."

"Germany? You speak pretty well Japanese for being a foriegner."

Jeez, that sounded like I insulted her. I look toward her and thankfully she didn't take it as one.

"Well, I have family here. So I occasionally make trips here to visit them."

"Hm, that's pretty cool. So your both German and Japanese?"

Explains why she's so attractive. I foresee a lot of sexual tension with all the other male employee, probably female too.

"Yes, a little best from both worlds."

I smile at that as we stop in front of the managers door.

"Just a bit of warning... she has a tendency to be... lazy".

She had a questioning look on her face when I finally opened the door. There were stacks of papers everywhere, a corner had a mess of unknown objects consisting ramen to beer cans. The desk in the room looked like it was a fortress with all the different array of papers stacked up to the ceiling. Asuka was shocked at this person's work ethic. I just sighed as I heard the light snore coming from behind the paper.

"Misato! The reports are late! Do you think this is tolerated!"

Someone from behind the stack jumped up and nearly knocked down the wall of papers.

"Damnit! Ikari, I swear to God if I see you I will murder you!", she proceeded to poke her head from one of the sides of the wall and looked at Asuka.

"This is the new employee... you know, to our department", I already knew this would happen.

"Oh..", she proceed to fix herself up and walked up to Asuka. Misato Katsuragi, my manager and boss. I've known her for as long as I worked here. She's a good boss, responsible person. Only problem was she couldn't take care of herself. Like for instance right now.

"Hello, Ma'am, my name is Asuka."

"No ma'am, just Misato. For a second there I thought Shinji got himself a wife."

Here we go. Asuka looked flustered and I looked up at the ceiling. Bitch, I hated when she did that.

"Misato, she needs to be assigned a workspace."

"Sure," she knew I changed the subject but didn't say otherwise. Probably thinking of different ways of torturing me about this. Misato was my boss and my neighbor in my apartment complex. Talk about the coincidence, it's like God wanted me to suffer at work and home.

"She'll take the place next to yours".

See what I mean?

* * *

So here's the situation, I have a girl next to my cubicle. A girl who I seem to know from the past or maybe from a past life? I have two of my good friends trying to score some brownie points by bringing her supplies from the supply closet. I am sitting in front of my computer, pretending to do something. Only right now, I keep trying to figure out where I know this girl from. Maybe I walked pass her in the past. She did say that she came to Japan to visit family. But that doesn't explain those hallucinations that I have of her. Someone's probably slipping drugs into my coffee... probably Touji. 

"Shinji?"

Damn that scared the crap out of me.

"What's up?"

"Uh... how do I use this computer?"

"Don't you know how to use a computer?"

"Obviously if I have this job position".

Touche.

"What's the problem?"

"The login... I can't figure out how to actually use this interface".

I got up and walked all 5 feet into her cubicle. Gotta remember to make Misato pay for that. I leaned down and looked at the screen.

"Input your id code, then go to employee section and configure the interface to your liking."

"Where here?" she moved the mouse to the wrong location. I put my hand on her hand to move it to the right place. Only I got hit with a blinding white light.

* * *

"Idiot".

"Wake up, Idiot".

"Come on, stop teasing".

I open my eyes. I'm in bed. I'm in bed with Asuka. A part of me was kind of surprised at how fast everything had gone, but I was just at work. Speaking of which, where the hell am I exactly?

"Shinji!"

I looked over to Asuka, laying beside me and slowly snaking herself around my arms. Either this is the best fantasy I have ever had, or Touji put some strong stuff in my coffee.

"Is something wrong?"

"Weren't we at NERV?"

She looked at me weirdly. Then she wiggled out and sat up.

"Oh I see, you would rather work then play with me?"

Boy, if I knew what was going on I would show her play. I slowly sat up and looked at her, her back facing me. Probably pissed, but right now I'm looking for answers.

"Asuka..." my voice sounded really confused because she turned to look at me.

"Shinji? What's the matter. Do you have a fever? We got a day off today."

Day off? But we were just in her cubicle. This is starting to slowly freak me out. I get up and slowly walk into the bathroom. Okay, considering the situation that I am in now. I could of simply blacked out to the point where we ended up in her place. The male part of me was proud that I got her in a day but that's not the point. I don't remember anything from that touch. I walked up to the sink and splashed water on my face and looked up. My eyes bugged out. I was young... younger... what the hell is going on? I ran into the room where Asuka was sitting. I looked at her fully now. Minus the clothing, she looked younger too. Dear God, she's not wearing clothing...

"Like something you see?" she purred as she got up.

"A.. asuka... where are we?"

"Your place, are you sure your feeling well?"

"Yes, but uh.. why are you younger?"

"Younger? Shinji were both 17, maybe we should go to a doctor."

"No, I'm fine, its just that... well..."

Crap I keep looking down, for seventeen she sure has a set. Figures, I'm raging teenage hormones right now.

"Asuka, what happened to NERV... I thought we were there, I was in your cubicle, I was helping you with the interface."

She looked at me weird again and put her hand up against my forehead.

"Shinji, I love you, but your starting to really worry me."

That was when I heard it, a giant crash outside. The wall behind me fell and that was when I saw it. A giant, purple figure. I looked to where Asuka was, she wasn't there. I looked back at the figure. Green eyes glowed and all I saw was a hand shooting forward towards me.

* * *

"Shinji?" 

I looked back at the screen, my hand still on top of Asuka's. A few beads of sweat fell from my forehead. I nearly stumbled back had it not been for one of the cubicle walls preventing me from falling down.

"Shinji!", she got up and shot straight to my side, "what happened? Are you okay?"

Am I okay? Jesus Christ, I was nearly killed... but I didn't leave the building. I looked at Asuka, I saw the worry on her face. I must look bad if it got a complete stranger worried. But I know her, somehow. What was that purple thing that nearly grabbed me. What the hell is going on?

"Shinji, are you okay?"

"Yeah... yeah... just lighthead, been suffering insomnia" I lied. I felt bad but I couldn't tell her I saw a younger naked version of herself and purple monster that sure as hell wasn't a friendly dinosaur.

"Are you sure? I could go get a doctor or something."

"I appreciate it but I'm fine, really."

I slowly moved away from the wall and sat down on her seat. I then proceeded to get her to the place on the screen.

"See, it's not too hard. You just don't know it because your new."

I'm an asshole.

"Oh... thanks, Shinji."

I got up and almost made it back to my cubicle only to have a hand grab one of my wrist.

I waited... nothing happened. I wasn't looking at Asuka but I slowly turned my head to her. She looked at me for a second and then seemed to collect herself. Did she see something?

"Uh, Shinji, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask. I mean were neighbors now... " she then gave me a breathtaking smile. Either she went through the same thing as me and controlled it better then me or I just imagined everything.

"Sure, same goes for you."

She let go of my wrist and I walked back to my seat. I sighed, really hard.

* * *

"Shinji, my man." 

I looked up from my screen. I just had a riveting game of on line chess with someone. The guy was good, really good.

"Whats up, Kensuke."

"The three stooges need to go to lunch".

It's been known around the office that me, Kensuke, and Touji were best friends, thus being deemed the three stooges.

"Sure, hold on."

Jeez already noon. I haven't heard from Asuka in a long time. I got up and peeked into her cubicle. She wasn't there. Oh well, so much for having an extra person at lunch.

"Looking for the girlfriend?" Touji responded as he walked up to us.

"Hardly, we just met."

"Please, you guys want each other."

"It's obvious" Kensuke interjected.

"You said the same thing about Misato when you found out she lives next to me".

"I'm surprised you haven't nailed a babe like her."

"I'm not that kind of person" I responded as I started to walk to the elevator, the other two following me.

"Seriously, if I wasn't married. I would so have her in a heartbeat." Touji gloated.

"Hikari would sure love to hear that."

"Class rep needs to calm down alittle, it's like if you look at a different woman her jealousy comes full bloom." Kensuke said as Touji glared at him.

We called Touji's wife, class rep. A class representative was strict and followed all the rules. It just came to be one day. Touji hates it, but can't help but agree with it.

"You know if she would loosen up, it wouldn't be so bad. Then again it's not so bad now."

"You married too soon."

"We're 21, its normal nowadays to marry young."

"Yeah if you want a ball and chain early in life" I smiled at that one.

"Shut up, Kensuke, and don't think I didn't see that smirk, Ikari."

* * *

The coffee shop down the corner of the NERV building has been our little hangout spot. Luckily they have a menu that's big enough for lunch. I sat there with my cup of coffee listening to the two grown men argue about some video game. It's hard to believe, that I'm 21 and still alive. I always assumed that something would happen to me, nothing really bad. Maybe save someone's life and die in the process. Feels weird that I always think that I'm dead. With all the hallucinations I've been having, I can't really identify what's real and what's not. For instance, the giant porno monster reject that's current destroying the city. I know what your thinking. What the hell am I talking about? Well, occasionally... I see monsters destroying the city. At first I freaked out, anyone would when they would see a 50 monster decimating everything around it. Of course the first thing I noticed was that no one was running away from it. More or less they seemed to ignore it. I thought I was nuts then. I seriously considered committing myself into an asylum. The only thing that prevented me from doing it was that within 20 minutes, everything was back to normal. Nothing destroyed, no one dead. I just remember taking the rest of the day off the first time I saw it. All I did was lay in bed, praying that I was mentally stable to go to work the next day. Days pass, I don't see the monster. Then a few weeks later, it happened again. Yeah, I know what your thinking. To be honest with you, I ignore it. When the public masses don't pay attention to it, I might as well not too? Right? 

"Shinji, are we up for this weekend?"

"Bars?" I answer knowingly.

"Yeah, we can watch a game, get hammered, hit on girls, the usual."

"Don't you have to be home before 2?" Kensuke's gaze pointed at Touji.

"Yeah, but I mean we can still have fun, right?"

"Your so whipped", I nodded my head in agreement.

"Oh so your saying that you didn't have to make sacrifices for your wife.. oh yeah, your not married!"

"Hopefully never will be." Kensuke adds as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Why not go for Ayanami?" Touji responds.

"Why not shut the hell up?"

"Come on, she talks to you more then she talks to me."

"That's because every word you speak insults her".

"You see that, Shinji? Be a pal and you get dissed like that" I can see Kensuke laughing and a let out a chuckle.

"Seriously though, she does talk to you more. You and Ikari."

"That's just because were both on her team." Kensuke replied.

"Wonder where the red headed babe will be placed?" I was wondering that myself.

"Probably with us, we need someone else. Damn project is getting troublesome" Kensuke took off his glasses and wiped the lens with his tie.

"Yeah, then Ikari can score some points with her."

"Don't get me involved in both your little games." I retort.

"What game? You two hit it off pretty well, and your cube buddies to boot."

"Isn't office romances not allowed?" I ask.

"Say that to the president who's banging that secretary from the 10th floor." Touji said.

Oh, I forgot to mention. Touji's our intel of what goes around at work. If you did it, he'll probably heard about it. It's creepy.

"Touji, I don't need to know these things" Kensuke said with a bored look on his face.

"Hey, its not my fault everyone decided to talk about everything when I'm around."

"It's called eavesdropping".

"Har de har har".

* * *

The rest of lunch was uneventful, we walked back to the building and got back to work. Working being just slacking off until someone told us something to do.

"Shinji?"

"Yes, Asuka?"

"Could you come here for a minute?"

She sounded distraught.

"Sure."

I got up and walked to her cubicle. She was sitting on her office desk looking into the screen. It was blue.

"I don't know how this happened."

"Server's probably down again, it happens sometimes."

"Well, I was searching something, but then the system crashed."

My eyebrow went up on that. Figures its something with the program code in the database, I would have to look into it. Don't need stuff like this to happen when I actually have to do something.

"Here, let me take a look." She got up and I sat down on her seat. I wheeled up to the desk and restarted the computer.

"Where were you at lunch?" Might as well begin small conversation while this thing booted up.

"Went to that coffee shop down the street."

"Really? That's where I went."

"I went there earlier, sorry, I didn't bother asking if you were going."

Something felt weird hearing her say "sorry".

"It's no problem. How do you like it here so far?" The computer rebooted and I started to log back in, I moved over so she could put in her user name and password.

"It's okay. Kinda boring."

"Yeah, it'll be like that until we get word on the current project."

"I know, I was assigned on your team to help."

Kensuke was right, I was actually happy he was right for a change.

"Nice, we could use the extra help."

The screen came back to the search section.

"So...", I asked, "what were you looking up?"

That's when I saw her move her head up and look around us to see if anyone was there. Then she knelt down close enough so only I could hear.

"Well, I was at lunch, and your probably going to think I'm crazy but I suddenly had a word pop into my head..."

"A word?"

"Yes, I decided to search the word, but when I did... the database seemed to have it classified or something and it crashed."

This was weird, we're supposed to have high access to files.

"That's really weird... what was the word?"

She looked at me and that was when she whispered the word, the word that haunts my dreams.

"EVA..."

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To be continued...

Late night writing at it's finest.

Hope you like where the story is going so far, kind of taking in a mystery side to this tale. Goes to show I need work on grammar, so don't pay attention to the placement of periods on the dialogs...

As always reviews are welcome.


	3. Sanity Check

Broken Stream

Chapter 3: Sanity Check

Disclaimer: don't own Evangelion

Warning: Teen rating: Language, expect an F-bomb

* * *

"EVA?" 

Yeah, I am officially freaked out. Hopefully it doesn't show on my face.

"You heard of it?"

Crap.

"Well... maybe, yes... I think?"

She gave me a pointed look and turned to her computer. She inputted the word into the search and the computer crashed again.

"Maybe the database isn't working right now?"

"It worked when I searched for other things..."

Damn it, I really don't want to deal with this right now. I don't want to be insane for one moment in my life. Its bad enough the dreams and hallucinations are getting worse but that I might of found someone who in fact could be going through the same stuff that I'm going through.

"Asuka... do you have a tendency to see things that aren't there?"

"Uh... no, why?"

Yeah, don't sound like a complete nut ball. Make an ass of yourself in front of the girl why don't you.

"Never mind." I could see the headache I had earlier would skyrocket soon.

"I do have strange dreams though..."

My eyes widen a little, finally something good to hear for a change.

"What kind?"

"Well... I know your going to think I'm crazy but I've been having this reaccuring dream..." she pulled on my tie so that I was eye level with her, to say the least I thought I was in a fantasy right now, or in the one that I had a few minutes ago, "promise, you don't say this to anyone?"

"Of course."

"Well, I'm in a room. I start to walk forward to a door of another room. When I open the door, I see a person hanging from a ceiling... I don't know who it is, or what it means..."

Jeez, I thought it was going to be about monsters...

"I'm sorry..."

Wow... that sounded really weird coming from my mouth.

"For what?" she looked at me questioningly.

"Well, no one should have those kind of dreams..."

"Do you think I'm crazy." She lets go of my tie as she asked.

I stand up and look at the window in the far corner to see the same tentacle monster destroying our rival business next door.

"Hardly."

* * *

The work day was over, the conversations between me and Asuka consisted of work, her making fun of me for my little penguin ornament that I have on my desk, and me making a reference of her IQ being the size of her bra. The last one ended up getting me kicked in the shins and threatening sexual harassment. I'm really starting to love that woman, and it's only been a day. 

I walk back to my apartment complex, remembering I left it unlocked again I just walk through the door and plop all my stuff on the couch. I really need to redecorate, with my income I could buy some decent stuff. Instead I just have a small couch, TV, and DVD player in the living room. My bedrooms worse, a desk and bed. Looks like I didn't grow out of my college living. I can hear a knock from the front door. Probably Misato asking me to cook for her again.

"I'm coming..."

I open the front door only to be surprised to see Rei Ayanami from work there.

"Uh... Rei, what are you doing here?"

"... I came to discuss something with you..."

Oh yeah, pale girl in a poorly lit hallway... not creepy.

"Sure... come on in, have a seat..."

She sat down and put her bag to her lap. She seemed to be more concentrated looking at the table then anything else.

"Do you want a drink or something?"

"Water would be fine."

I walk up to the fridge and take out a cold pitcher of water. I pour some into a cup and put it back in. I walk up to her and offer the glass, which she accepts and sit down next to her on the couch. It's times like these that I wish I had more furniture.

"Don't mind the place, I'm not much of a pack rat."

"It's alright, I'm pretty much the same..."

"So... Rei, what brings you here?"

"Well..." she seems hesitant at first but then looks int my eyes. Her red eyes seem to shine an emotion that I have never seen before. Hell, I didn't know anything about this girl. All she did was come to work, work, and then leave for the day. I just seemed to assume she was to herself, I didn't mind it. I liked doing the same thing, only for some reason I make friends with out effort. I guess its the personality or something.

"I was wondering if... do you... "

You know the more I think about it, I'm expecting something to happen. Either we have sex or she kills me... I'm kind of hoping for the first.

"I have been having these weird... visions...?"

"Visions?"

Her too? Maybe I can get answers... or either the employees are playing a trick on me.

"I see these monsters... in the streets and everywhere..."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I notice you looking in the direction of where they are when were at work."

"So I assume you saw the one today too huh?" her nod answered my question.

I got up slowly and walked up to one of the empty shelves in my apartment. I tried to collect the questions I wanted to ask her... maybe I wasn't going crazy. This actually got me in a good mood. Maybe I can get answers. Maybe I'm not crazy.

"Rei... I..." those words die in my mouth when I see a penguin sitting in her place on the couch.

Okay, this can be explained. It's a trick.

"Rei?"

"Yes?"

The penguin talked... and it had her voice...

I think I have official gone off the deep end.

"Ikari, are you okay?"

I look back to see Asuka in the penguins place. See, now originally the talking penguin was bad enough but seeing Asuka in a skin tight red suit that looked like some reject 80's workout outfit seemed to make my eyebrow twitch. She still has Ayanami's voice.

"Shinji? Your pale, really pale. Are you sure you don't need any medical attention."

More like a mental evaluation. There was something really weird going on. So I decided that in order to keep my sanity, I would close my eyes. Maybe I'll wake up from this dream...

"Shinji?"

I open my eyes to see an old man with a NERV uniform, graying hair and an air of dignity surrounding him. This was seriously enough. I don't think I can handle anything else. Then I heard the wall behind me collapsing. I knew what was there, I knew when I would turn around I would see it. I would see it and I would wake up and I would be happy because it was a dream. I turned around and slowly my mouth sank down to the ground. There was an enormous watermelon sitting on top of the rubble that was my wall. I slowly turned around again only to see now it was Misato, next to her was Asuka, next to her was Rei... everyone I seemed to know where around me. Surrounding me, they were clapping... Why the hell were they clapping? Congratulating that I finally broken down mentally? This was when I noticed I couldn't move. I was surrounded by all these people, in black nothingness. I tried as hard as I can to move, but I couldn't. Then I saw it, green eyes lit up in a distance. The ground was trembling as it was coming closer. This didn't make sense since I was standing on black... Jesus... there was no ground! What the hell is this? The eyes... the eyes... coming closer. The black ground seemed to quake until I finally had to crane my head up to look at the green orbs standing high above me. I looked around me and noticed that I could move. I didn't see anyone. Where did they go? A bright light shun down from the heavens and lit on one lone figure in a distance. I could see the glare of the light from his eyes. He must have had glasses on, I slowly started walking toward him.

I wanted answers now. I started running to the figure only he seemed to be moving farther away from me. This was it, I think I have finally gone insane. I was panicking, I was surrounded by darkness now. I noticed that my shoes were getting wet, I was in a white room slowly filling with some copper colored liquid. I went up to the nearest wall and started pounding on it, the liquid was rising, I was screaming but I couldn't hear myself. Soon I was floating to the top of the room. There was no where else to go and this liquid seemed to be coming from no where. Soon I was engulfed in the liquid, though my knowledge I know drowning was painful and when your surround in a space with water, completely engulfed in it, you know what's going to happen. I completely lost it. I thrashed and held my throat as my lungs were begging me to breathe. Well, this officially sucked, I'm dead. I let go of my breath and expected sweet darkness to come again.

I was breathing. I was breathing under this "water". I looked around and realized that I wasn't dead. I slowly sank to the ground and I just looked at my hands. I moved around, the resistance proved I was in liquid only there was a slight difference.

I could taste blood...

* * *

"Shinji?" 

I heard the voice and turned my head to it. I saw Misato standing near the fridge as she seemed to be pillaging something for it.

"Huh?"

"Fantasizing about that Asuka girl huh?"

"Where's Rei?"

"Rei was here?"

"What?" Okay, this is very strange. I was in a room before right?

"Ayanami came here? You dog" I could feel her smile as she was foraging through my fridge.

"It looked like you were thinking about something, I knocked but no one answered. I remembered you don't lock the door, which I think is bad, so I just walked in. I saw you sitting on the couch looking like you were out of it so I just helped myself to your food."

Was it another hallucination? But it seemed so real...

"Yeah..." I tried coming up with lie, "seemed I forgot to ask Rei something at work, guess I got lost in my thoughts."

"Seemed so. You were gone, I thought you were drooling over the red head."

Her head popped up with a small piece of chicken in her mouth and a few Tupperware of food in her hands.

"You know, you have food too..."

"Yeah, but I can't cook for shit. Oh Shinji, if only I could meet a man that can cook as well as you." She then sat down next to me. She sat where... everyone was sitting before.

Okay, don't say anything. Act calmly and think about it later.

"Shinji, your really pale?"

God... the headache worsen.

* * *

The night was a cool one. I was thankful as i slowly strolled through the park, I needed this walk. Who knows what other crap might happen if I was in that apartment alone. It was bad enough I had to fight off Misato with a stick about Asuka. She was like a troublesome mother wanting grandchildren. It was amusing, but annoying too. I walked a little further until I found an old bench. What I liked was that this bench was next to a small garden of watermelons. Like I needed a monster watermelon to eat me or something. Regardless of which, I sat down and slouched into it. Oh man, this was heaven. Cool breeze, calm night, some old dude playing chess by himself in a corner, and the sound of jazz coming from the distance. Guess there was a small jazz band playing the park. Musta been a Sunday? 

"Hello, young man?"

I looked up at the old guy sitting on a stone stool, a chess board in front of him and another stone stool, only it was empty.

"Can I help you, sir?" I have a habit of being polite to strangers, even though at this point I wasn't sure if I could just be an asshole and wake up back in my room.

"You wouldn't happen to be up for a game of chess now would you?"

I smiled, "Sure thing".

I got up and sat in the empty stool. This was when I noticed that the old man wasn't old. He looked like he was in his forties, weird he had long hair in a pony tail. He seemed to give off a fatherly aurora, a calm look on his face, and he seemed dressed really laid back. I liked this man instantly.

"So, what's a guy like you doing sitting alone with a chess board like this?"

"Waiting for a hopeful player, of course."

That got me to smile, he was cryptic.

We started playing, every now and then he would ask really general questions. Work, life, and everything else in between. I didn't know how long I was there, but I finally had him in a move where I was sure I'd get the checkmate only to have it backfire on me and give him the win.

"So... mister?"

"Name's Kaji, Kaji is just fine."

"Well, Kaji, you beat me good."

"I was surprised, your good. I didn't think I would win. Letting an old man win just to make him feel better?" he cracked a smirk as he looked at me.

"Ha... no, you gave me a run for my money."

"So, Shinji was it? You didn't answer me to why a young man is out here in a park by himself instead of mingling with some young thing."

I slowly lifted my hand and glided through my hair. Should I tell him I'm crazy. Maybe I should be asking myself why I'm so calm over this?

"Well, Kaji, I just came out here to straighten my head.. sort to speak."

"Hmm, a girl?"

"Well I do know a nice girl, if that will sober your curiosity?"

"It does." He smiles and motions me to keep talking.

I tell him about Asuka, everything I could say about her. I mentioned that I might of met her before, but refused to mention the fact that its through different hallucinations. He looked at me with a small smile, either hes reminiscing on something from the past or I could of sworn he was hiding something.

"Shinji, my friend, you know this girl for a day yet you have a strong connection to her. She could be your soul mate if you believe in that."

"I'm not really a believer..."

"That's a shame, you know 'all you need is love'".

The reference puts a smirk on my face, I could feel his hand pat my back as he slowly got up.

"It was nice talking to you, my friend. Let's hope we bump into each other again. If you do come around here again, do me a favor? Water my melons for me, I love those melons as much as I would like to be in between them."

I got the reference but it seemed that I heard that before. But from where?

"Sure thing", I answer and look at the chess set in front of me, "what about this chess set?"

"It's yours".

"I can't take this." I turn around to see him smiling at me as he made a motion with his hand to take it.

"It's alright, go on... it'll bring you some comfort, and you can get some practice for our next match."

I laugh as I begin to clean up the set.

"Oh, and Shinji?"

"Yes?" I was cleaning the set, so I didn't turn around.

"Let's hope you do better getting a girl then your father did".

I dropped the king piece in my hand and shot up from the stool. No one was there. He was gone... he couldn't of been gone, theres a long stretch of sidewalk and no trees in this area. I started controlling my breathing, and slowly put my hand on my heart. My parents were dead... I never knew anything about them. They died when I was young. Could of that man known my father... damn, I shouldn't of let him go. But how would of I known that he would know anything. Now that I think of it was he real in the first place? I look forward, skim through the area expecting him to come out but he doesn't. I then look down at the chess set only to see it no where in sight. My eyes widened, my heart was racing. I started to slowly hyperventilate. This was too much.

"Shinji?"

I look up to see Asuka walking down from the other side, she looked like she was carrying her bag from work. As a matter of fact she was still in her work clothes.

"What are you doing he... are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Shit... she had no idea.

**

* * *

**

I was distraught, I was proud of myself that I actually kept myself together while walking Asuka home. Even though I still wanted to curl up in a ball and die in a corner, hopefully where these hallucinations wouldn't find me.

"I found out something about EVA..."

I looked at her.

"What does it mean?"

"It's an old project... seemed like it was active at the time of the great disaster that happened awhile ago."

Makes sense.

"So what exactly is it?"

"I don't know, it only had a date... that was it."

"I see..." Damn so much for hopes.

"Shinji... remember when you mentioned those visions?"

Shit, I did not want to talk about this.

"Yeah, why?"

Here it comes...

"I wasn't being truthful..."

"You see them?" I let that out fast.

"Yes, no, I don't know..." She clutched her bag close to her as we walked across a street.

"I mean at first I thought it was stress related but it started to get progressively worse..."

"I know what you mean."

"You do?" She looked up at me hopefully, apparently I just made her day.

"Yes, unfortunately. It was small stuff before, now it's gotten to the point where I can't tell what's real and not..."

"What do you see?"

I looked down at her, I looked into her eyes. I can't tell her I saw us together in bed, it would be just awkward. I can't tell her about the newest ones either. The monster? Jesus, I don't know if I even believe that.

"I see a variety of things. People, some weird creatures, something the seemed to be me in a past life..."

"Past life...?"

"Yes, like it was..."

"... memories you couldn't remember?"

I stopped as she gave me a sad look. She was seeing the same things.

"Shinji, I know I met you today. But to be honest with you... I think I've known you before..."

Don't tell me she's seen the same thing I've seen...

"What do you mean?"

"When I saw you at the train station, I had a vision... or hallucination of us sitting on a beach..."

Well that isn't so bad...

".. the ocean was covered in blood and giant monsters on crosses stood in the water..."

... that's pretty fucked up.

"Oh..."

Holy crap, how do I answer to that? I looked at her as she seemed to be regretting she ever said anything.

"Asuka, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of said it like that. Yes, I've had visions... of us. Monsters too, destroying the city and of this giant purple thing with green eyes."

"I have a giant red thing with four eyes..." she smiled shyly up at me.

You know if I had known that at any point in my life that I would be talking about crazy stuff and having a connection with a girl, I would of just went up to a random girl and said that bar stools talk to me.

"Hehe, well it's nice to know that I'm not the only one messed up."

She laughed as we walked up to an apartment complex. I looked up and was surprised to see it was mine.

"You live here?"

"Yes?"

"I live here too."

"Really?"

Wow, need to thank fate for this one.

We both walked up to the floor below mine.

"How long have you been living here?" I asked, a little relieved that I could actually go to her with all these mental problems I've been having.

"Just a few days, I moved in when I got into the country".

She was fumbling in her bag for the keys and slowly lifted them out. She was looking through the keys until she found the right one.

"You know, Shinji, I'm grateful that we talked like this... I thought I was going crazy, you know?"

"I know the feeling."

"Of course you do!" She laughed as she unlocked her door and swung it open.

My eyes widened, I looked to my side to see the same expression on her face.

"Shinji?"

I looked back up answering her.

"Yes?"

"Please tell me you see that?"

You mean the middle aged woman who's got a noose around her neck, hanging from your ceiling?

"Yes, I do..."

* * *

To be continued... 

Third chapter the next day... just seem to be banging out this story.

Seems my grammars everywhere in this one and I have no idea where I pull all this stuff out of... well enjoy.

Formated it with spaces, make it easy to read.

Reviews are welcome.


	4. Pawns

Broken Stream

Chapter 4: Pawn

Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion.

Warning: Nothing bad in this one, at least I think.

* * *

I looked up from my position on the couch in the living room. Sleep was almost impossible on this thing, which makes me think about why I got this hunky old thing in the first place. My thoughts wander to the redhead sleeping in my room. After our encounter in her apartment, she demanded not to be left alone. I can't blame her, I would pretty much have the same reaction. The funny thing was that the scene downstairs made me feel a sense of relief. Relief that I wasn't the only one that saw what I saw. The mental image of the woman still lingers, the woman and the doll both hanging from the ceiling. 

A scream sends me scrambling up from the couch, I look around at first then stupidly realize that it's Asuka in the next room. I dash toward the door and knock on it.

"Asuka? Are you alright in there?"

No answer comes, I slowly put my hand on the knob as I knock again with my other hand, pressing my ear against the door to see if I can find any distinction of a sound.

"Asuka?"

That being done I slowly turn the knob and carefully enter the room. The light from the next building allows me to see some shapes in the dark room. I can see the girl laying on her side, blankets completely covering her figure. I move slowly, reaching the foot of the bed. Deliberating how this should be done, my mind tries very hard not to visualize myself lying next her. I open my mouth only to close it again when I hear a small sob come from underneath the blankets.

"Asuka?". It felt weird to hear myself say that, especially the soft tone that I'm not accustomed of using.

"Shinji?"

I saw her turn to look over her shoulder. I can see the light reflect lightly on ther face, the tears going down her face can be seen if you look hard enough. She sat up slowly while wrapping her arms around herself.

"Are you alright?"

I feel like I just entered a teen sitcom...

"Yeah, I'm fine... couldn't be better..."

Boy, do I feel like an ass.

"Asuka..." I slowly sat on the bed as her head darted to look at the window. I guess she felt ashamed that she was crying. Hell, I kinda feel like crying too right now. Forget I said that.

"I think that was my mom..."

This gets my attention as I look at her face. She's still staring at the window but the look in the eyes say that she was staring at something else. Something that really can't be seen physically. I tried really hard to come up with something to say, but what can you say in this situation that won't result in her either crying more or secluding herself from the world?

"I vaguely remember her, I don't know why... I don't remember if I had a father. I can't remember any family members. It's funny, now that I think of it. I can't remember anyone from my past. Do I really have a past?"

She looked at me full force now, her blues eyes penetrating right through me. She was looking for an answer that I didn't have. She wanted me to give an answer, something that would any form of explanation. She was looking for the explanation that I've been searching for ever since I started hallucinating. I could see her eyes begin to water as the silence in the room becomes unbearable. I slowly exhale the breath that I didn't know I was holding in, and looked up at her.

"... I can't either..."

I don't know where that came from, but all I knew next was that there was a girl crying on me. Her arms wrapped around me and her head buried in my chest. She stared crying so hard it almost made tears fall from my eyes. I slowly wrapped my arms around her shoulder, my left hand slowly laying on the top of her head while my other gently stroked her back. She was looking for some association, something that would make her seem like she wasn't alone. In truth, no words could of been spoken. I could of merely hugged her and console her through means of human contact. Instead I seemed to inadvertently tell her she wasn't alone. I don't know. I honestly don't know. Though tonight seemed to have changed my mind in some ways. I never want to see the girl in my arms cry like this ever again.

* * *

I slowly started to regain consciousness, thanks to a car alarm outside that didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. I felt an unfamiliar weight on my left arm and chest. I opened my eyes and slowly tried to focus. Just seems like everything was red. It was then I realized I was looking at a mess of red hair on my shoulder. I could feel her even breathing on my neck as she slept peacefully. I remember last night, after she stopped crying she wouldn't let me leave the room. At any other moment I would be more then happy to just take advantage of the situation. Instead I laid there as she slowly cried herself to sleep. I was happy to provide some bit of comfort, even if it was being a human body pillow.

For some reason, I can sense myself not being in character. Like I was supposed to leave the room, like I was supposed to runaway? I know I've had my cowardly moments before but now it just seems to nag me more. I wasn't supposed to be here this morning, I was supposed to wake up on the other side of the room. Yeah, because Asuka used the bathroom and decided to slump down beside me. I remember it quite well, especially the fact that her breast were nearly flooding out of her nightshirt.

My eyes slowly shoot open. I tried hard from refraining to shoot straight of the bed. I definitely just remembered something I didn't go through. My mind slowly begins to try to come up with it again only this time I can't seem to grasp it vividly. I definitely remember being younger and laying beside a sleeping Asuka... trying to kiss her? I slowly take a deep breath and start to think about anything. I let my mind wander, hoping to remember anything else.

After awhile I realize that I have no recollection of high school, a childhood, or much less years ago. Asuka said that she couldn't remember anything either. She did say that woman was her mother. Maybe she had the same mind flux that I did, like what just happened now! Crap, I have to get to the bottom of this.

"Shinji?"

I look down to see Asuka looking up at me, her sleepy eyes trying to focus on my face.

"What are you doing in here?"

"You were upset last night, you said you didn't want to be alone. You left no option of me to leave..."

I saw her face get red as she slowly tried remembering what happened last night.

"Did I... you... I mean did we...?"

"No..." My male pride seemed to have suffered a blow from that answer.

"Oh..."

"You want to get off my arm, losing circulation."

She seemed to dart to the other side of the bed as I let out a laugh. She blushed and seemed to glare at me for laughing at her.

"Are you doing better?" I ask her as I sit up on the bed.

"Yeah, I guess so. I don't know really."

"I can't blame you"

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

She seemed to scoot closer to me as she peered at me.

"You know, all this stuff. The hallucinations, the things were going through. I don't understand anything, but you seem to just accept everything. Like you don't care about it."

"Trust me, I'm as spooked as you."

She moved closer again, this time leaning against my side.

"You just seem to be so calm, I feel safe around you."

* * *

"I feel safe around you." 

I can see her, I can see her laying beside me. Completely nude and looking so beautiful that my mind can't even describe the words

"What are you doing, Idiot?"

She looks over my shoulder as I typed away at a physics problem. I could smell the chlorine in the air and I could see the ridiculous looking zipper on her swimsuit as she bent down to look at the problem. The problem was about thermal dynamics

"No peeking or you'll see what happens!"

She hides behind a curtain that blocks off the two rooms. I could still see she had her school uniform on, I could see Touji and Kensuke drying themselves off with towels. I look down to see that I'm holding one too.

"Shinji... showoff..."

It's red everywhere. It's boiling hot. My skin feels like its frying. I could see my hand holding on to a pipe connected to a huge figure in a suit. I look to my left at the small screen with the words 'Sound Only' on them. I heard her words, I heard everything.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH DON'T LOOK! STOP RAPING MY MIND!"

I can see the beam of light on the giant robot. I can hear her screams. I feel helpless and useless. I feel... I feel... I feel hatred toward my father...

* * *

"Shinji!" 

I seemed to regain myself again. I really don't know what happened. All I see is Asuka's face hovering over mine. A look of complete worry and confusion.

"What happened! Are you okay?"

I got up slowly as she still had her hands on my shoulders. I looked up at her, she looked like she was in the verge of tears again.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You just blacked out, I don't know why. We were both sitting up, then the next thing I knew you slumped on me and you had this empty look in your eyes."

Well, that's new.

"I'm fine now, Asuka, really..."

"Yeah, then you freaking faint like that. How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Your worried about me" I said it with a smile on face.

"I... well... what if you started having seizures or something..."

"My hero" I said monotonously as she hit me in the arm. This exchanged seemed to lighten the mood in the room.

"Asshole", she said with a smile on her face.

"I'm going to call in sick today. You should do the same." I moved to the edge and sat there, at first I was surprised at how cold I sounded when I said that. For some reason I think I hurt her feelings when I said it.

"Okay", I hear her response and something flashes blue in mind.

"Asuka...", I begin to say, looking down on the floor, "I'm going to go around the city today, I'm going to try to find out what's going on. I don't think I will be going back to work anytime soon."

I could feel the weight shift on the bed but I still look down on the floor.

"If you want, your more then welcome to stay here for the time being." I heard the sigh of relief from her, I wasn't going to send her back to her place. Especially after all that happened.

"What are you going to look for?"

"I don't know, I honestly don't know but I think I have an idea who might know."

* * *

I slowly strolled into the park. My mind kept wandering to Asuka, she said she wanted to go to work. Maybe find something out there since the database could hold in some clues to what's happening to us. I didn't want her to go to work, but she had a point. I just hoped that no weird questions would arise at the fact that I missed work. So far I haven't missed a day ever since I started. Surprisingly, I can't recall when I started. I started to see the place where I met the man named Kaji. I knew this was crazy but really how much crazier can you get. If it wasn't for the monsters and disappearing glimpses of memories, can it honestly get worse? 

I sat down on the stool, I looked around to find no one was around. I could see that the melons that were once there were gone. The lack of people kind of puts me on ease. It was a weekday after all. Everyone was at work, school, or just lazily spending their time at home. Instead I'm out here looking for answers. My sense of reality is slowly disintegrating. I need to find out why.

"Hello again, Shinji"

I know who it is, I don't have to look up. I get up from the stool and turn around. There stands the pony-tailed man. A laid-back look on his face as his pony-tail slowly moves in the wind.

"I don't know who you are, but I have a feeling I should."

The man smirked as he closed his eyes, his head moving downward. He then slowly lifts his head up and looks at me.

"You knew me once, a long time ago"

A memory flashes of the both of us sitting in a cafeteria talking to each other.

"What's going on?"

"What is really going on?", he counters.

"I think you know."

He lets a small laugh out as he walks up to the other stool and takes a seat.

"What I know is only on the reflection of what you know."

"You know you could just say 'nothing'"

He smiles, "Now wheres the fun in that?"

I frowned as I sat down. To my surprise a chess set sits there, all the pieces waiting to be moved.

"Do you want to play?"

I looked up at him, I can't seem to be annoyed at him. He just has the sense of calm. It seems I understand what Asuka said earlier.

"How is Asuka doing?"

"She's fine, spooked."

"Well, anyone would after seeing their mother like that."

My eyes widen but I still look at the board. I saw Kaji move his hand to one of his pawns up.

"So it was her mother?"

"Afraid so... her past is quite tragic."

"How do you know this?"

"You willed the knowledge into me."

I didn't understand what he just said. I moved a pawn up and put both my hands on my lap as I still continued to look at the board.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, my hands started to shake.

"You, my friend, are in a continuous state of reality. A reality that is there, but that doesn't exist anymore."

Again, I didn't understand. He moved another pawn up.

"I don't understand."

"You aren't meant to... your just expected to live with what you have."

"So what are you going to tell me, that I'm Keenu Reeves in the Matrix?"

"'Free your mind'" he said as I moved my pawn to match his.

"I appreciate the pop culture references, but I came here for answers."

"I know you did, but let me pose a question for you. Do you remember the sea?"

"The ocean?" I look up as he seemed to give more focus to the chess game then the conversation.

"No... the sea."

* * *

My eyes open 

The sky is red and purple

I could feel the sand on my back, my hands scoop some up and let it fall between my fingers. I continue to look up, the sky has no clouds. It just has a translucent medium of red and purple. I look around, I could see Asuka lying beside me. Her eye and arm are bandaged. I don't think shes aware even though her eyes are wide open. I look down and see the ocean. The ocean full of red, full of white things hanging on crucifixes. I try to scream but I can't move my mouth. I can't stop looking at Asuka. I could feel the murderous intent wash through my body as I drag myself next to her.

* * *

"Welcome back" 

I jump a bit. I didn't realize it but I've started sweating. I could feel the drops running down my forehead and dropping down my chin. I look to Kaji, a look of sympathy on his face as he moves another pawn.

"What was that?"

He didn't answer.

"There's no way anything I just saw can be real"

He let a smile spread on his face. Something like a parent would do when they heard their child trying to explain that peanut butter came from trees.

"Shinji, your answer lies within that sea. If your looking for a definite answer, I can't give you one. Like in this game of chess, I'm only a pawn in a bigger plot that I can't full comprehend."

"Then what does that make me?"

"I think that's up for you to decide. Checkmate."

I look down surprised, I didn't realize the game quickened. I could see that my king was in fact trapped by his pieces.

"I have another question. How do you know my father?"

He just started putting away the pieces as I posed the question to him. He seemed to consider it for a moment then later I saw that his face seemed to flash some emotions I didn't quite catch on to.

"Your father can be found in the city, along with everyone else."

Everyone else?

He got up from his seat with the chess set tucked under his arm. I got up and we both just seemed to stand there looking at one another.

"You really aren't your father's son."

"What do you mean?"

"When you see him you will know."

I didn't get it, then again I didn't get much of anything lately. He slowly turned around and started walking away. He lifted the arm that wasn't holding the chess set up and waved. I looked as he walked away. I couldn't help but wonder what he meant by 'pawn in a bigger plot'. Maybe this is too much for me to handle. It still doesn't explain what I see. The next time around through, I know that he'll give me the answers.

* * *

The apartment building was up ahead, I didn't realize the walk it was from here and the park. I noticed someone waiting outside, to my surprise it was Asuka. She seemed distraught about something. I walked up to her as she lifted her head up. 

"Your not at work?"

"I went to work... I found something..."

I tried to contain my questions as I led her inside the building and up the stairs. We finally got to my door, I produced the keys and opened the door. Asuka went inside and immediately sat down on the couch. A mess of papers were littered all over the coffee table. She seemed to look for a certain one.

"I looked into 'EVA' again", She said while searching.

"And?"

"I found this..."

She handed me the paper. I looked through it, it seemed like a roster of some sort. Only thing was that it was a mess of blacked out words, the occasional 'and' and 'the' could be seen. I didn't understand why this was so important until I got down to the bottom of the page.

"Gendo Ikari" I said outloud.

"Do you know him, Shinji?"

"He's my father..."

I could hear Asuka breath in slowly. I put down the paper and start looking through the others. I could see that shes holding another papers. She silently gives it to me.

I look at it and begin to read it out loud.

"Project Evangelion... First Child: Rei Ayanami... Second Child: Asuka..."

I looked at her as she seemed to look at the ground then back up at me.

"Read the next one..." She said softly.

"Third Child... Shinji... Ikari..."

I drop the paper. I don't understand. I don't understand at all. What was this? Was I in an experiment... was I in one now?

"I'm going to get a drink of water in the kitchen, do you want one?"

"Yeah... " I say almost automatically.

I hear her leave. My mind begins to wander, so many questions popping up in and out. I look down at the papers, something seems to catch my attention. I lifted up the paper and looked at it. The word 'sea' was in it. It was the only real word that wasn't blacked out.

"'Shinji, your answer lies within that sea. If your looking for a definite answer, I can't give you one. Like in this game of chess, I'm only a pawn in a bigger plot that I can't full comprehend'." I said what Kaji told me outloud.

I looked at the roster and realized.

I was a pawn in this too.

* * *

To be continued... 

Sorry for the long wait.

Reviews are welcome.


	5. Reality

Broken Stream

Chapter 5: Reality

Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion.

Warning: A curse word or two. Nothing that bad. Long chapter.

* * *

I hated this couch; I don't know why I kept it. 

I had these thoughts in my head as I stared up at the ceiling. Occasionally a car would pass by outside. I could hear the running tires on the asphalt as it drove, sometimes even the music the driver decided to blare at the early hours of the morning. I know exactly what I'm doing. I was trying hard not to get a headache from all this mystery that seemed to have shrouded a black cloak over my life. I know, for a fact, now that I was a pawn to something. That something I wish I knew. The only connections I have is the sleeping red head in my room, the people around me, and NERV. I knew NERV had to be a big part, since my name was in a roster for an experiment that I can't seem to remember ever being apart of. Yet it does solve the mystery as to why I can't remember anything a few year span in the middle of my short life.

Kaji's words reeled in the back of my head.

"_You willed the knowledge into me."_

"_You, my friend, are in a continuous state of reality. A reality that is there, but that doesn't exist anymore."_

"_Do you remember the sea?"_

"_You are your father's son."_

He did mention my father was in the city. If I could find him I would at least get a glimpse of what is really going on. My only question is where to look. What could I possible do to know where he is? Alright, let's think this through. You have someone who is your father, now assuming he's got a good twenty-one years on you depending at what portion of his life I was born. This is also assuming that he and your mom decided to have you at the age of twenty or thirty, so that would make him between thirty or forty-one. That's not exactly old. So looking at an old folk's home is out of the question. It was basically then that I realized how stupid I was. I work at NERV. NERV is a key piece in all this. I have access to files. Man, I sure had my moments of head in ass.

"Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you asleep?"

"I wish…"

I heard her feet pat against the floor as she came to stand by me. From my position on the couch I was taking up a lot of the room. Also I had a pretty good view of her night clothing, half a blue t-shirt and shorts. The shirt came to an end just above her navel, loosely wrapped around her petite frame. The shorts, I have to say, left nothing for the imagination. Almost made me wish these were the gym shorts that girls were accustomed of wearing in Phys. Ed.

I slowly sat up, hearing the various bones in my back crack and pop. I seriously need a new couch. I moved over to the left side, allowing her to sit down on the right. I felt the couch move under me as she unceremoniously plopped herself down.

"Thinking about everything?" She seemed to throw that question for me, also to describe her dilemma.

"Sort of. I wish I knew what exactly to think about."

"Hm…"

Silence. I hated the silence sometimes. It reminded me how alone I was.

"Asuka, do you remember anything between the age of 14 and 18?" I don't know why I said it. It came out too fast for me to pace myself with the thoughts.

From the darkness I couldn't tell what her facial expression was, but I could guess it. I heard her move toward the small lamp to her side. I heard the click and light flooded the room. I turned to look at her and saw the look of shock that I expected.

"I can't… I can't seem to remember anything from that time. I also have been having a hard time remembering when I was a kid too."

I knew why. It was because she had a "tragic" past as Kaji said. The human being is truly amazing creature; however it's a creature that doesn't know how to deal with large amounts of pain. That's why you have things like mental blocks, the mind protecting itself from itself. I really didn't know how tragic it was for her, but I can imagine it wasn't something like her parents yelling at her.

"Do you remember anything?"

"Tid-bits…" I answered. I came across a few memories during my muses on the retched couch. Involved walking in on a naked Rei Ayanami just coming out of the shower. Another was floating in a rainbow colored sea, then surfacing on a small deserted island where two people were in a distance. One was sitting on a chair, the other standing.

"I can remember very little." I said. I turned to her direction, seeing the look of distress on her face flash on and off. I slowly lifted my hand and put it on top of hers.

She turned to me and looked down at our hands. I saw the smile on her face as she turned back to look at the table, a small blush creeping on her face.

I could see the both of us sitting on the couch, hands holding in the dim light of the lamp. It was like I was having an out of body experience.

"Everything will be fine." I seemed to say automatically.

"How do you know?" She countered.

"I just do, trust me."

* * *

I haven't been to work in a while. Right now I wish I was back home. 

"So, Shinji, you've been sick?" Touji said as he was leaning against one of the corners of my cubical. I could see the smug smirk on his face.

"Yes, I have."

"Well, Asuka has taken a few early days… makes you think."

"Thinking? You? No…"

I felt the glare, I also heard the approach of another person who would soon go Spanish Inquisition on me.

Kensuke showed up next to Touji, a look of pure enjoyment on his face.

"Shinjiii…"

I could feel the headache.

"I noticed that Asuka took a day off and called out early. I have to say, man, you work fast."

"It's nothing like that." I countered, but it was like throwing a stone at a tank.

"Oh, so your saying you have nothing to do with the fact that a new employee, who happens to be a babe like her, takes the days off that are suspiciously close to yours?" Kensuke said as Touji grinned.

I looked up at them, breaking my concentration on the screen in front of me. I could see that their chins were resting on the top of the wall, their bodies hidden. Both their hands were on either side of their heads. With those grins, it looked like hungry hyenas ready to jump over the wall.

"I swear nothing is going on. She visited me once if that sobers your curiosity."

Crap, I messed up. I saw their eyes light up.

"Oh ho, so you admit to seeing her on one of your 'sick' days as you like to call it." Kensuke stood up and walked inside the cubicle. Touji followed and my spacious cubicle became an interrogation room.

"So how was she?" It never amazed me how blunt Touji was.

"It's nothing like that." I countered again only to have Kensuke put his hands on my shoulder.

"I think you're lying to us, Shinji." I could of sworn I saw his glasses light up.

I let out a sigh, if I wasn't going to say something they would stay here and try to badger something out of me. I still needed to work on the database to find some more clues. So I decided, rather then the male part of me suffers defeat, to fabricate a story to appease them and hopefully cause them to leave me alone.

"Okay," I could feel both of them close in, making sure they were the only ones listening, "she came over the one time. We didn't do anything really that badly. Just kiss that's all…"

* * *

I could see myself sitting by a table. It seemed like I was doing homework or something. Though the opening into the next room I saw Asuka sitting on a chair, leaning heavily onto the table. Her head resting on her hands with a look of complete boredom on her face. 

"Shinji?" I heard her say.

"What?"

"I'm bored… do you want to kiss?"

"Wha… What!"

"Come on, I'm really bored. It'll kill time."

"I… Well…"

"Come on, are you going to be a little boy all your life?"

"Fine." I saw as I got up and walked up to her. She stood next to me. I could see the both of us slowly moving in.

"Don't breathe, it's tickling me…"

"Okay."

I saw them move closer only this time I saw Asuka take the initiative and move in. Using one hand to pinch my nose I saw us awkwardly kissing. It was a while before I started to shake and turn blue. All the sudden I saw her let me go and run into the other room, seeing myself breathing hard and grasping my chest. I could hear the gargling and running water.

"Ew! I'm never kissing out of boredom again!"

Jeez, there went my pride...

* * *

"Shinji?" 

I snapped back to reality, I looked up at the weird expression on Touji and Kensukes faces. I also happen to see past them and see the presence of Asuka behind them. Look of intrigue on her face as both her hands were clasped behind her back and a small smirk on her face. I'd be damned if I didn't say she was cute.

"So what did you two do?" Touji pressured.

"By all means, what did we do?" I heard her speak up. I saw the frozen looks on Kensuke and Touji.

"Shinji, I need those reports by tomorrow." Kensuke said as he straightened up, a serious look on his face.

"Ms. Sohryu." He said as he passed Asuka and walked back his cubicle.

Touji didn't have a great exit; he stood up grinning at Asuka. With a hand behind his head, he inched past her and bolted out of there.

"Thank you." I muttered as I turned back to the monitor, hopefully avoiding any conversation about anything she may have heard. I felt the desk shake a little as she sat on the end of it. She crossed her legs and seemed to give me this look as she smirked.

"Fabricating stories?" She asked with a coy attitude.

I don't think she realized how she can affect men. Then again I think she's doing it to me right now. Of course I can't be sure. Density is a disadvantage that I possess when it comes to women.

"You wish." I countered. Her head lowered to my view and looked at the monitor. I could sense she wasn't being playful anymore.

"Did you find anything?"

"No, apparently my last name has a high level of security clearance to get into it."

"You're that important?" I could almost picture the quizzical look on her face.

"I'm not, but apparently there is another Ikari that seems to have higher priority, higher then Misato." I scratched my chin and glared at the monitor. Trying to hack your way into your own company's security was a pain in the ass. Especially if you're one of the people that helped make it. Plus side, I have some of the information I need. Down side, other people on my team have the other parts. I felt like hitting my head against something.

I felt Asuka's hands on mine. She shooed me away from the chair and sat down. I decided to humor her; I know for a fact if I can't do it then she wouldn't be able to.

"Here you go. I found an address."

What the hell?

"I looked up the directory, apparently there are two Ikaris. One wasn't your address." She craned her neck up and looked at me from her position on the chair.

I frowned. She saw it. She smiled.

* * *

A few hours later, I was walking down an abandoned section of the city. In my hands was gripped a piece of paper with an address for some forsaken part of the city. I decided to look up the directions on the net. I was surprised to find it listed a street but it listed it as one of the under constructed part of the city. I was happy the street was still listed. 

I walked along side with Asuka. She insisted that she come with me. Since these occurrences were happening to the both of us, we should figure out what is really going on together. Not that I minded.

The street we were walking on was broken up. Some holes that were easily dodged by some of the pavement were loose. So walking was a bit of a hazard, driving was out of the question. Creaks and things dropping could be heard occasionally. It was a bit creepy, I was more afraid that we'd fall through the street into some kind of sewer system or get mugged by a group of gangsters. I felt Asuka lean closer when a particular object made a loud sound in the distance. I could tell by the look on her face she was spooked by the place.

I looked at the piece of paper and stopped. This was our destination. It seemed like an old subway station, stairs leading down into darkness.

"You have family living here?" I heard Asuka ask as she gripped my arm subconsciously.

"I wasn't aware I had family until now." I replied as I began to descend down the stairs. Asuka holding on to my arm, I could feel her shiver just a bit.

* * *

It wasn't as dark as I thought it would be. I stood for a minute to get my eyes adjusted to the change in scenery. I looked to my left and saw rubble. A steel beam was sticking out in a mess of concrete and asphalt. I could see an old sign of a jean ad that lay on top of the granite mess. I looked to my right; I could see something, a fair outline of what looked like an old train. I pressed forward, now with Asuka hanging onto my arm. The closer I walked the more familiar this place became. I know I was here. I know I was here with Ayanami and Asuka. I could tell.

"Shinji… this place is really creeping me out…" I heard her say with a frightened tone.

"Don't worry; I won't let anything happen to you."

I heard a click and all the lights that still worked came on. My adrenaline started pumping as I pushed Asuka behind me and started looking all around me. I looked in front first making sure nothing was there. Then I turned around, swinging Asuka with me so that she was behind me the whole time, and looked toward the entrance and what was behind us. There was nothing, it was just a dinky subway station. Until I heard a chime behind us, I turned around. Pressing Asuka to go behind me again, we both looked toward the sound. The train was fully operational and the doors wide open.

"Shinji?" I could feel her breath on my neck. I could feel her trembling as she leaned pressed up behind my back, her hands gripping my shoulders.

I started walking forward. "It's alright, Asuka, it's alright."

Of course I was saying this as I walked toward the thing that just scared the life out of us. We walked slowly in front of the doors. I lifted my arm up and held it in front of me. Waving frantically inside the train then quickly retracting. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, it just seemed like a dumb reaction to do. I stepped inside with Asuka right behind me. I slowly looked around. It was an old abandoned subway train. A few of the chairs were still connected to the walls while others laid in the corner or various spots on the floor. I heard the train chime again. Asuka screamed behind me as the doors closed behind us. I moved her and went to the doors. I tried as hard as I can to pry the doors open. It was too late. I felt the train shift and begin to slowly start moving on the tracks. I started to pound on the doors, yelling. I yelled hoping someone would hear me. But I knew we were here alone. Asuka started running to the other doors; she pounded and push on the doors but had no luck. She ran to me and threw her arms around my torso. All I could do was put my hand on her head and pray she didn't see the look of horror on my face

* * *

We have been moving for awhile now. It may have been a few minutes but it felt like an eternity. I made Asuka sit on one of the chairs as I still tried to pry the doors open. I could hear Asuka stand up and stand next to me.

"The doors won't open at all?" She asked. I could tell she wanted me to say yes.

"No, further more I don't know where were going."

I heard her sigh. She snaked her hand into mine. I looked down and tried to smile at her. She looked back at me with a small smile of her own. My eyes snapped open as I got a plan. I let go of Asuka's hand even though I miss the warmth of it, and went to the pile of chairs. I picked up a chair and motioned for her to move out of the way. I wind up my torso and swung at the door. I felt the impact but it did nothing for the door, only send a small crack on the window. I cursed and started doing it over and over again. After the fifth time, I walked up to the window and threw the chair at it. I then saw it. I saw the glass break as the chair went through. I also saw landscape behind the window. I saw the glass and chair fall. I ran up to the broken window and looked down. We were up really high. I could see the chair becoming smaller and smaller as it flew down toward the ground. I forward and saw that we just entered some kind of city underground. I looked up and could see various building like structures that looked like icicles stuck on the ceiling. I looked down and could see a weird triangular structure surrounded by some pool of water. The building was on an island surrounded by some sort of orange liquid. I brought my head back in and looked at Asuka. She was pressed up to a window looking at the same scenery I was. I looked back and realized how much I really didn't know about the world.

* * *

The train stopped at a small station next to the triangular building. The chime sounded, the doors slid open. I walked out with Asuka in hand. We both looked around, it was a terminal. An old terminal, various plant life was growing along the walls and one wrapped around a terminal. A door was open slightly. I lead the both of us to it. We had to crouch down to enter the facility.

It was dark and damp inside. The sound of dripping water rhythmically fell around us. To say the least, it was a pretty scary place. I could tell by how hard Asuka was squeezing my arm. Not that I minded. It was dark all around us; the only light was coming from the semi shut door behind us. I heard chime in the distance, it was then a small light slowly started to shine down the hall. I could hear Asuka mumble a curse at how freaky everything was. I couldn't agree more with her. I took a step forward indicating to her we were going to go toward that light. I felt her hand clasp mine as her other arm was still around mine.

"We're going to walk toward that light over there." I whispered.

'Okay…Aren't you scared?"

As a man I was obliged to say no. It would have been the manly thing to say.

"Yes…"

To hell with pride if you think you're walking to your death.

I felt her squeeze my hand as we walked forward. The light started becoming bigger and bigger. Until we were standing in front of a industrial looking freight elevator. I walked inside as Asuka followed. The doors closed behind us and we slowly started to descend down. I took a look at the red head beside me. I was felt kind of at peace that if this was my last moments, it was at least spent by her side. She looked up at me and let a small smile grace her lips. I knew she was scared. So was I. But it surprised me how much I would do just to see that smile on her face.

* * *

The elevator stopped, the doors slid open. The room was big; a red glow surrounded the room. It made it easier to assess what was around us. We walked out and stopped when we heard the elevator close behind us.

"Who's there?"

The sound of another person scared the both of us. I looked around but couldn't find anyone within our view. I walked forward and started to look around. It seemed like we were on a lower level to something. It almost resembled a theater stage, I assumed the voice was on the tier above us. We walked into the red light and saw what looked like a map of the city. It looked like a laser hologram. But as far as I knew holograms didn't exist yet. I looked around and realized the map was hovering over an opening in the ground. This opening seemed to extended far from the tier we were on. I looked behind us, the front of the top tier was pointing at us. I looked at the top and saw someone sitting behind a table. Their hands entwined in front of their face.

"Again I ask. Who's there?"

The voice sounded monotone and deep.

"Are you Ikari?" I asked.

"What if I am?" the voice responded.

"I am also an Ikari." I replied.

For the next few moments silence stretched. It was really looking like the man wasn't going to answer.

"Is that so?"

"Really talkative, huh?" Asuka whispered to me.

"Um… did you have a son by any chance?" It was at this point I was nervous.

"Yes."

"Was his name, Shinji?"

"…yes."

The silence stretched again. I didn't know what to say to this person. It was possible that this was my father. But there was something that made me want to say something else to him.

"You are Shinji?" the voice asked.

"Yes, I am. I believe I am your son."

"Ah, I see…"

Man, this was like probably the most depressing father/son story in the history of time.

"I was told that you would give us some answers to questions we seek?"

"What is it that you seek?"

"Truth."

Silence again. I could feel Asuka shift against my side. Right now I was wondering why the hell I came down here for this? I mean sure, I met my father. I think. But right now I probably could of gotten more out of Kaji then I could out of this man.

"Truth is an illusion. It exists based on what you believe is true. Our eyes tell us what is needed to be seen and our ears tell us what needed to be heard. Do you trust them? Do you trust your senses, my son?"

"What do you mean? I don't understand…" I replied unsure what he wanted me to say.

"You can see beings that no one else can see…

My eyes widened. It seemed he hit a target.

"Yes…"

"As well as the young lady that stands beside you."

"Yes…" I hear Asuka speak softly.

"You are looking at the truth, the truth in a form of the past. A past that may have existed but never lived through," I realized that he cryptically means the missing years in our lives, "and of feelings you are unaware of having. The people around you, are they real? Or is it that fact that you led yourself to believe they are real. What really makes something real and true? Can you prove it? Through science, technology, and mathematics it is said that yes reality can be made real. However those are methods created by humanity to give the explanations. So how can you prove something can exists if the tools you use may not exist as well?"

I slowly began to understand. Was I living in the reality with everyone I know or was I in the reality with all those monsters? All those blocked memories; those moments with Asuka… were all of them real? Or did I just make myself think they were?

"But… but how can you prove anything if you have nothing to prove it with?" Asuka asked.

"That is the question, my dear. Humanity looks to find the truth in reality. If everything is how everything is. Laws of science that exist however that can be bent and broken through will. The human will itself is a feat. A man can will himself to survive and adapt. That is why we are still the reigning species of this world."

"You're going through evolution… we came here to look for answers into our lives!" I said loudly.

"Both your lives are feats of survival. You two are survivors."

"Survivors to what?" Asuka asked.

Again silence. The sound of a chair sliding across the floor broke the silence. I could hear the man, my father; slowly begin to take steps to the front of the tier. It was then we both saw him. Rugged looking face surround by a beard. Tinted glasses sat on the bridge of his nose as he looked down at us with no emotion.

"You will find out in due time."

Before our eyes his skin turned into an orange tint and liquefied. The last thing we heard was water hitting the ground before everything went black.

* * *

I regained my senses and I looked in front of us. We were at the subway station. I looked to my right to see Asuka with a look of bewilderment. I looked behind us to see the entrance that we first to. I looked to my left and saw the rubble. I looked to my right and saw that instead of a train there was more rubble.

"Did we imagine that?"

"No… it was real." I responded not to sure of myself.

"How do we know?" Asuka whispered.

I then remembered what my father said. There was no way to prove it was real. It could be questioned that we both went through the same hallucination but how do we know if it was only that. A hallucination.

"You're going home." I said abruptly.

"What? Why?"

"You need to be someplace where I know it's safe."

"What about you?"

"I'm going to someone who knows what's going on."

"I'm going with you. I have every right to know what's going on."

"No, you'll be safe back home."

"Damn it, Shinji! I can take care of myself!" She snapped at me.

"Damn it, I don't want you to get hurt!" I snapped back.

It was then I felt a pair of lips on mine. To say I was surprised was to say the least. She pulled back and looked up at me.

"I'm going." She said with finality.

Ah, damn it.

* * *

The park was a long walk, by the time we made it there the sun was already setting. We walked up to the place where I usually met Kaji. This time however we saw him sitting on the stool with a chess board in front of him waiting to be placed.

"Ah, you brought Asuka this time." He spoke out as we approached him.

I took a seat on the stool parallel to his and Asuka sat down on the one adjacent to me.

"How do you know me?"

"I know a lot about you, my dear."

"How?" She asked confused.

He looked at me. I knew what that look meant.

"My dear, would you mind if me and Shinji went through this game. Then I'm all yours, how does that sound?" He said smiling.

"Um… okay." I could see the blush creep on her face. A glint of jealous fueled up in me.

"Kaji, we met my father." I started

"Ah," he began to move a pawn up, "so you met the senior Ikari. How was he? Still a stick in the mud?"

"Just as cryptic as you are." I replied, a chuckle coming out of him.

We began to play as we spoke.

"He told us not to believe in this reality."

"Why do you say 'this'?"

"I realized we are living through two different worlds. However I don't know which one is real and which one isn't"

"Excellent, Shinji, you are truly remarkable." He praised me as he moved his bishop to take one of my pawns.

"I still don't understand why it's only Asuka and me, why it isn't anyone else. Why is it that you're helping us? Why is my father in a place that doesn't exist in this world? "

"Shinji," Kaji looked up at me and then turned to Asuka, "do you love Asuka?"

I was silent; I could feel her eyes bore into my head.

"I don't know." It was a dumb answer and I knew it was.

"I have known this girl for years, may she remember it or not, but I have never seen the girl as happy as she is now."

I looked up at him and turned to Asuka, I could see the lone tear escape from her eye.

"I do, I do care. I would do anything for her. I would do anything."

He smiled a smile that a father would smile, a proud smile.

"Even create a world for her?"

* * *

To be continued…

Big big chapter this time. Sorry for the wait.

Next chapter is the finale. We'll see what happens.

Reviews are welcome.


	6. Novus Terminus

Broken Stream

Novus Terminus (New End)

Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion.

* * *

I could hear it faintly, the ringing of the alarm clock on my nightstand. My hand reached out and hit the snooze button. I slowly lifted my head up to look at the time. An hour and a half I would have to be at work. I groggily lifted myself into a sitting position and stared at the wall in the far corner. Something was off. I could sense it. 

I threw my legs off the side of the bed, untangling the bed sheets that stubbornly cling on to me. I stood up, a slight grimace appearing on my face from the neighbors upstairs. They felt a need to play their heavy bass music at these hours of the morning. I never complained though. I always slept through it.

I walked into the small bathroom. My face seemed a bit rugged, my long hair tangled behind me. I striped off all my clothes and stepped into the shower. I turned on the cold water first; completely wide awake I slowly turn the knob to warmer water. It's weird. I always seem to forget I have long hair now. I glide my fingers through the strands; I took the soap and started scrubbing.

I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror. My stubble was coming in. I liked how it looked. It reminded me of a rugged movie star. Skipping shaving will save time and maybe get me the earlier train to work. I dried myself quickly and strolled back into my room. I walk into the room with the towel over my head. For a second I could have sworn I saw red hair and a figure on my bed. I lift up the towel and see the bed sheet crumpled in the middle with the pillows leaning up against the headboard. I dismiss the notion and start getting dressed.

* * *

I run out of the apartment. Jumping over the first rail, I land on the stairs and start flying down them. I pulled this act in the mornings, simply to feel the ponytail behind my head flap in the frantic movement. Plus it was kind of a work out. I waved at the elderly lady that I always greet every morning. I could see the small smile and her shaking her head mentioning something about "so full of life". 

I make it to the front and open the door. The city is alive. People are moving in waves like ants. This city became really popular as of lately. It was even named one of top places to live, giving New York City a run for its money. I walked down the stoop and blended in with the sea of people on the sidewalk. I kept in par with the speed making sure not to be left behind. I lifted my bag over my shoulders and put my left hand in my pocket. I had a small smile on my face. I felt damn good today.

I walked toward the train station, always happy I live within walk distance of the place. There was quite a crowd on the platform, even for the early train. I was glad that I decided to leave at this time because I can't imagine what it's going to be like later on. I heard a giggle to my left; I turned and saw two school girls. One had red hair and looked like she was from Europe while the other was a Japanese girl, blue hair and red eyes. Weird, must be a new trend. I could see them looking at me and giggling. I decided to humor them so I smiled that charming smile I use and waved at them. I heard them erupt into giggles and start whispering to each other. I turned around with a chuckle, thinking nothing of it.

* * *

Inside the train, I gave up a seat for an elderly woman with bags. I kindly offered her the seat as I took a standing position and held on to the pole next to me. She seemed happy and thanked me profusely as she sat down. I stood there, trying to keep my balance. Making sure I don't knock into anyone around me. I looked down and saw a small boy. The boy looked up at me with his dark eyes and laughed. He then waved with both his hands. I smiled and waved back. I saw his mother but his hand on top of his dark hair. I trailed the arm with my eyes and saw that she held a smile while looking at the child. She looked at me and smiled also. I smiled back and looked else where. It was then I felt a tug on my shirt. I saw the little kid grabbing a handful of the fabric and tug again. I laughed as I slowly put my hands over his and propped him to let go. 

"Kaji, what are you doing?" The mother spoke softly as she looked apologetically at me. I laughed as the child let go and went to his mother. He sat on her lap and looked completely content.

"I'm so sorry." She said.

"Don't worry about it, just a little explorer, that's all." She laughed and wrapped her arms around the child.

Kaji? I know that name from somewhere.

* * *

I got off the train and walked into the platform. I saw someone familiar and walked toward them. To my surprise it was a group. Kensuke and Touji seemed to be arguing about something while Hikari looked on with a flustered expression. 

"They're at it again huh?" I heard Hikari shriek as she turned whirled around.

"Shinji! How many times do I have to tell you!"

I laughed as the two others seemed to have gained their attention to the both us now.

"Stop scaring the crap of out my wife!" Touji walked to us and extended his hand. I shook it. Kensuke came from behind and we did the same.

"You're here early today." Kensuke confirmed.

"That I am, didn't feel like getting crushed in the train."

"I hear you," Touji interjected as he put his arm around Hikari. She glared at him and then smacked his arm off, "Hey! What's that for?"

"I told you to stop arguing like that in public, and for what you did this morning."

"What happened, did he fail to deliver?" Kensuke shouted while thrusting his pelvis in the air.

"Well if that's the problem," I interjected; a smirk on my face, "Hikari's more then welcome to come with me tonight."

I could see the blush that spread across Hikari's face.

"Stop hitting on my wife, Ikari!" Touji fumed.

Kensuke was still thrusting his pelvis in the air. These were my mornings before work.

* * *

There was a conversation going on in the elevator, I wasn't paying attention. I could feel something was amiss. It was one of those feelings you get when you think something's going to happen. It could be paranoia. I don't know. 

I felt someone poke me in the stomach and looked down at Hikari.

"Do you want to come to dinner tonight to our place? Kensuke's coming too."

"You're cooking?"

"Of course." She said with an air of superiority.

"Yeah then I'll be there." I told her. I could hear Touji huff.

"So I burned dinner once… it's not like it was a complete disaster."

"You fucked up rice." Kensuke said as Touji dropped his head. Hikari patted his shoulder as the elevator door opened.

I walked out and immediately bumped into someone. I glanced down and saw the top of a red head.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay." I laughed, she looked up at me and to say the least my jaw stopped working.

Ocean blue. Ocean blue eyes. European features and full lips. I couldn't stop staring. I could see that she couldn't either. I heard someone from behind me cough and I shot my glance to the ceiling.

"I… Uh… I'm sorry, I should have seen where I was looking… walking! I mean…"

"I… no… it was my fault, I should have walked into you… I mean walked by you… I mean…"

"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time and walked opposite directions.

I could feel three pairs of my eyes staring at me. My ponytail seemed like it was standing vertically.

"Shut up!" I yelled even before they can open their mouths.

"The great Shinji Ikari, the great womanizer, just acted like a little school boy?" Touji said.

"Scandalous!" Kensuke shouted.

"Well I think that was cute." Hikari said with a squee.

I gripped the bridge of my nose. Damn it… I had a reputation to keep.

* * *

I pushed my foot off from my desk, my chair swinging around. I had my arms laying on the armrests and my head hanging from the back of my chair. The ceiling was swaying left and right. I did this when I needed to think. All I could think of was the red head. I heard a sound behind me and turned the chair to face the person outside my cubicle. Misato looked down with a goofy grin on her face. 

"So… the new girl, huh?" She said with a smirk on her face, placing her hands on the corner of the opening. Walking behind the small wall, she put her chin on the top of her hands; her face had an expression of pure amusement.

I frowned, looked down at the part of her shoe that wasn't covered by the wall then looked up at her face.

"Okay, I gawked, big deal."

"It's hard to consider you to be mesmerized by a women, kind of makes me jealous." She said as she looked to the left.

"But we've known each other for years; I know the way you act outside the workplace."

She frowned and pouted.

"So, it's not like it would ruin my reputation."

"The messiness, the lack of clothing, the drinking… Should I go on?"

Her ears perked. She looked at me suspiciously.

"Fine, you win. However I will get my day, Ikari."

I waved as she huffed away. I loved Misato. She was like that big goofy sister you'd always want to protect. I was looking on as she walked away, suddenly I felt a burning sensation in my eyes.. I shook my head. I should probably get more sleep.

Deciding to get a drink of water, I got up and walked to the cooler. I swayed a bit to the left and grabbed on a wall of a cubicle. I looked down at my left hand. It was then a vision of a chess set on a small stone table flashed before my eyes. I blinked rapidly and see it was still my hand. I wiped the small beads of sweat off my forehead. I paced quickly to the cooler. I reached for a cup and collided with another hand. I retracted it back and was about to apologize.

"I'm sorry." I looked up and saw it was the red headed girl. Her eyes held mine. I looked lower, she didn't have a mouth. I almost faltered back in surprise. I saw the look of confusion on her face. I blinked again, looking up I was relieved to find that her mouth was there.

"Are you okay?"

"I… yeah, just a bit dizzy that's all." I grabbed a cup, filled it with water and chugged it down.

"Um… you're Shinji right?"

"Yes."

I heard her sigh. "Oh… good. I was looking for my new partner on the instrumentality project."

"The what?" I asked.

An image of the chess board flashed in my mind again.

"You know, the Magi server that needs to be repaired. Your memory, suits the pilot of the evangelion."

There were several images that flashed before my eyes. A giant four eyed creature, it had a mix of red and orange. It was being attacked by 7 angel-like figures. Another flashed of my hands around Touji's neck. Touji's face turned into some black monstrous looking beast as I felt his neck break in my hands. I closed my eyes. The headache was getting worse. I placed my hand in front of my face and then to the back of my head. I couldn't feel my hair. It was short now. I patted the back of my head and felt nothing but short bristles of hair. I opened my eyes and looked at an image of myself. I was young, my eyes looked tired.

"You are Shinji Ikari, you are the designated pilot of the Evangelion unit that is to save the world from itself." Myself said. I reached out an arm. The image of myself didn't mimic the movement.

"You are Shinji Ikari," I turned to my left and saw a naked Misato. Her eyes held a blank expression, "You are the boy that I met and fell in love with. You were the son I always wanted, you were the person that seemed to look out for me. You were the person who I felt sorry for, only to feel so much pride for. You were the pilot that I was supposed to look after, you were one of the people I proudly called a friend."

"You are Shinji Ikari," I looked back at myself, standing naked only with long hair and the stubble, "You are a boy who held strength, who held resolve, who held the ability to survive. You were boy who had the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"You are Shinji Ikari," I looked up and saw a blue haired girl with red eyes slowly float toward me. She put hands on each side of my face, "You made me feel human when I was not. You opened my eyes with your kindness, you confused me with your beliefs. You changed my life with your words. You saved my life with your actions. You were the one who I wished would notice me."

I could feel my eyes burning, images of everything happened. I learned what they meant by their words. It was like I was watching a movie that I didn't realize I was apart of. I was a main character. I was…

"You are Shinji Ikari," I looked to my right and saw her; Asuka, "You took all I threw at you, you were persistently ridiculed by me. Yet, you always had me in your heart where I secretly had you in mine. You made me love, I hated you for it. You made me feel, when I didn't want to. You were my first, and my last. You became my life. You opened yourself and welcomed me, where I open myself and became yours."

I felt them surround me. I saw someone in the corner of my eyes. It was a man with long hair in a pony tail, a smirk on his face that I've come to know.

"You are Shinji Ikari, the boy who I respected. You looked up to me as a father figure, when your father abandoned you. You looked to me as the man you wished to aspire to be. I did not deserve to be that person; you mimicked me in several worlds. You trusted me to be the key in every reality. I don't understand what you see in me. I don't understand why it had to be you. You were the one that saved the world, you were the one that saved us, you were the one that fate threw this cruel fate. Why? Why did it have to be you?"

The women moved out of the way as this man came and crushed me with arms. I could feel him weeping. I slowly put my arms on his back, I could feel the tears falling from my eyes. He stepped away and I saw two figures slowly coming closer. When they reached where Kaji was, I saw a mature looking Rei Ayanami with some older man with sunglasses.

"You are Shinji Ikari, we are your parents." They both spoke at the same time.

"I am your mother," The woman stepped up, "You were the son I wanted, the son I cherished. I'm the reason why your fate has you in this loop, I'm the reason why the world wanted so much from you. I was there reason why you were protected inside the Evangelion Unit one. I was Evangelion Unit one, I would let no harm come to you. I would protect you, no matter in which reality I am."

"I am your father," The man with sunglasses stepped up, "I'm sorry, I am so sorry."

I knew exactly what he meant, I knew exactly why he only spoke that. I placed my face in my palms and slowly tried to deal with this. I heard slowly as Touji stepped up, Kensuke by him and Hikari followed.

"Your our friend, we cared about you as you did us."

"I respected you and cherished our friendship" Kensuke said.

"After I met you, I forgave you," Touji said, missing his arm and leg, " Even afterwards, I still forgive you."

I cried hard when I heard him say that, I saw the image of the evangelion unit destroying his and crushing the entrance plug in it's hand.

"I cherished you because you were a man, you didn't think highly of you but we all did."

"Every one of us." They all said at the same time.

"I love you." I heard Asuka say as she floated to me, my eyes widened when I saw the long scar on her arm and her eye closed. I lifted my hand up and cupped her face. I closed in and kissed her eye. I then grabbed her and crushed her into me. I could feel her body, her warmth, her touch. I could feel everyone surround me. I could feel them.

* * *

"Do you understand?" 

I would feel water running down my eyes. I was looking at the chess game on the stone table. I could see Kaji in front of me and Asuka to my side. I turned around completely when I saw Asuka run her hand up and down the scar on her right arm. I looked up to her face and saw her grey left eye. I saw tears spill as she looked up from her arm.

"I can't see from my left…"

I grabbed her and pulled her in as she buried her face into my shirt.

"What the hell is this?" I sputtered angrily.

"When Third Impact happened, you two were chosen as the survivors. You were the only two in the Evas. The Evas protected you. The wounds on Asuka are from the spear. I'm sure your aware of that now."

I knew about the spear, when I went through my trip I regained my full memory.

"Is this world real?"

"Yes and no."

"Why do we keep on remembering?" I could see Kaji looking at Asuka as she asked that question.

"It's your fate; you've had a lot happen to you. You literally survived Armageddon."

"What about everyone else."

"You mean me?" Kaji asked. I nodded.

"I am you, the both of you. You willed me into existence. You implanted all that Kaji was into me. You also implanted me with the answer to everything too."

"This isn't the first time?"

"Unfortunately no."

I stared at him, I couldn't remember any other time that...

"I don't believe it."

"What?" Asuka asked as she lifted her head off my shoulder and looked up at me.

"I lived through… a life… before?"

"Your right… the office… we bumped into each other in the elevator." Asuka said out loud as she stared at me in the eye.

"You two meet each other constantly, no matter what the world. You always end up together. Fate has drawn that you two are linked together, permanently."

I looked at Kaji, he held a small smile on his face.

"So now that we know… what will happen?"

"Everything will reset itself; there will be a white light that'll come from the Second Impact happened. It will erase everything and rebuild it."

"This happens every time?"

"Yes, it's kind of reality's own way of extinction and evolution."

"But we will remember again?" Asuka said as she put her hand on top of mine.

"Most likely, you know when you throw a rock into a stream it will always flow around it. You can't break the current of the stream. You two suffer from a broken stream but sooner or later the stream of memories will flow again. You two have had a lot happen to you, you have created a world and made sure that when you two remembered that this world was created that it would be reset. You didn't want the power. You gave it back to nature."

I looked at the man named Kaji, thoughts of what he really is flashed through my mind. Is he alive? Is he dead? Is he real? Is anything real? Are we real? What is real?

"Who gave us this power?" Asuka asked. I looked at Kaji expectantly.

He let out a small laugh. "I don't know that because you didn't know that before."

Someone left humanity in our hands. The reasons they choose us can be infinite. I looked at the girl sitting in my lap, the look of confusion on her head as she desperately tried to come up with an answer to this. I looked toward the man; he was looking back at me.

"Let's forget."

I could feel something in me dawn. The stream may have a rock in it but it still flows. It reaches equilibrium and adapts to the situation. I think we can do similar.

"I think this will be the last time, the last time this ever happens."

"What makes you so sure?" Kaji asked as a small smirk spread on his face.

"Trust me." I said with the similar smirk on my face.

Kaji rose from his seat. He patted his behind with his hands and stretched his back.

"Well, I'm off then. I trust you won't come back to me for answers?"

Asuka slowly got up and I followed. I looked at the man that I wished was my father. I looked at the man I admired and realized what it is I wanted.

"Don't worry, we won't be selfish anymore."

Asuka walked up to him and hugged him, she then returned to my side, I extended my arm and shook his hand. The man I admired most.

"At sunset, the light will come." Kaji said as he turned around, he lifted his arm and gave a wave. He walked into the park, disappearing.

I turned to Asuka and gripped her shoulders. She smiled, her grey eye slowly replaced with blue. She lifted her right arm up and saw the scar disappear.

"You could have done that before."

"You're still beautiful regardless."

She smiled as she wrapped her arms around my torso.

"Let's go to the beach."

I felt a weird sensation then my feet began to sink into the ground. I looked around and saw that we were in a beach somewhere. I could hear the waves of the ocean lapping into the land, giving the atmosphere an aurora of calm.

"Shinji, how did you do that?"

"I don't know; at this point I don't care." I said looking around. I could see that sky beginning to change colors. I could see the vast horizon of the ocean. I drew Asuka to me, put my arms around her slender waist and rested my chin on top of her head.

"How do you know this time will be different?"

"I don't know, I hope. That's all I can do."

"How can you love me if I was a bitch to you for so long?"

I looked up at the changing color. I saw the fiery orange and thought exactly why.

"You were spirited, beautiful, and intelligent. How can I not fall for that? Sure you had your problems but I mean look at me I used to be spineless."

"How did that go away?"

"I think it was you?"

"Oh?"

"You probably beat it out of me." I laughed as she squeezed me.

"Shinji?" She slowly whispered. As she took a step back and looked up at me.

"Hm?"

I saw out of the corner of my eye as a white light exploded in the horizon. It slowly began moving toward us.

"I know I said this before, I want us to start out together. I want us to be together. I…"

My hand cupped her face. I tilted her head and pressed my lips into hers as the white light finally enveloped us.

* * *

I heard it, a slow ringing. At first it started with a slow pace, now it was blaring angrily. I cracked opened an eye and stared menacing at the alarm clock on the nightstand. I suddenly felt some weight on my side and saw a feminine arm slam down on the snooze button. 

"Why do you always make me do it? Idiot" I heard her say grumpily as she plopped back into her side.

I turned around and saw the mess of red hair, I couldn't help but smile. She held a frown but soon started smiling. I grabbed her and hugged her close.

"Morning." I said coarsely as I crushed her.

"Morning." She said back as she kissed my chin.

I felt her start to struggle to get away.

"I have to go to the bathroom, and we have to go to work."

"Work. Let's skip."

"This isn't school, Shinji." She sighed as she tried to pry my arms off, "Let go."

I released her as she ran into the bathroom. I turned to lay on my back and slowly stretched out the sleep in my legs and arms. I got out of the bed slowly and looked up just as Asuka got out of bathroom. I could hear the water running in the shower.

"Your not going to shave are you?" She asked as she went through a few shelves looking for clothing.

I rubbed the stubble I had on my face. I lifted my hand to the top of my head and ran my fingers through my long hair. I could feel the knots in them.

"Not today, it'll take forever. I'll just take the electric razor to work or something," I winced when I hit a stubborn knot, "I need a haircut."

"You know I like you with long hair, keep it." She turned around and flashed me a smirk, "it gives me something to pull while we're in the shower."

The message was thrown and received. I followed my giggling wife into the bathroom.

* * *

I could hear the sound of pans clanging in the kitchen of the apartment. I also heard the door open and close as I put on my pants and buckled the belt. I walked into the living room while swinging the tie I grabbed off the closet door around my neck. I saw two people sitting by the kitchen table. Asuka was near the stove cooking up eggs. 

"Shinji, it's good to see you with pants no less."

"It's my house, Misato, I can be with or without pants if I wish."

"I wish I could say the same for her." The man with the pony tail said, a small smirk spreading on his face.

Misato turned to her husband Kaji and pinched his arm.

"I don't see you complaining." She said as her pinching caused him to twist in the chair.

"Jeez, Misato, I was joking." He said holding his arms up in surrender.

"Misato was never for jokes." I said as I walked to the cabinets and took some plates out.

"Ain't that the truth." We heard Asuka say from the stove.

Misato put her head down and mumbled that everyone was being mean. I placed the plates in front of them and two in the other two empty seats. I sat down and waited until Asuka walked up and plopped a helping of eggs and sausages.

"So I see your pulling off the "me" look?" Kaji asked as he picked up his fork and started digging in.

I laughed. "Ah, sort of. I did always want long hair but until now I just grew it out. Asuka never complained about it so I decided to keep it. As for the stubble, I get too lazy to shave it."

"I hear you. Shaving is a pain in the ass."

"At least you don't need to shave your legs." Asuka interrupted as she sat down.

"Ugh, like I need any more places to shave." I said.

"Please shut up, I'm eating here!" Misato yelled with the fork in her mouth.

* * *

I locked the door behind me as we left the apartment. I saw Misato immediately go for Kaji's arm. They both walked down the stairs. It still amazed me how well they worked with each other. I felt Asuka's hand wrap around mine. I looked down at her and smiled. Yeah, I did kind of understand. We both began to walk down the stairs. I saw the small elderly woman outside her door. I waved at her while Asuka said her good morning. The elderly woman smiled and waved back. I heard Asuka say something about bringing food over and the woman thanked her. I smiled as we walked down the next flight of stairs. Yes, life was routine. We did this every morning but I have to say that I wouldn't think of it any other way.

* * *

The elderly woman walked into the apartment. The door clicked behind her. She walked into the living room where an elderly man was sitting on an arm chair. The man looked up and smiled. 

"Are they gone?"

"Yes." The woman said as her frame changed and formed into a younger image of herself. Her gray hair turned into brown, the wrinkles around her face smoothed out. Her eyes turned into a more brilliant shade of blue. The man on the arm chair formed into a young man. Black hair and deep blue eyes that almost looked purple. His face became more chiseled. He stood up and hugged the woman.

"Do you think this worked out?"

"I don't know. We're not old anymore."

"I know. Maybe now we can let everything go back to normal."

"I don't know, do you think we can leave them?"

"He's our son. He's a survivor."

* * *

The end. 

A big thank you to the people who reviewed and liked this story.

Hopefully the ending was on par. At least I didn't pull the End of Eva ending eh?

Reviews are welcome.


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